Mercury Improv Terms of Use
Welcome! This page is legal boilerplate whose sole purpose is to prove my legitimacy to robots, but here you are, an actual human, reading it. What have we come to?
Anyway, these Terms of Use (“Terms”) govern your access to and use of the website located at https://www.mercuryimprov.com/ (the “Site”). By accessing or using the Site, you agree to be bound by these Terms.
Acceptance of Terms
By using this Site, you agree to comply with and be legally bound by these Terms. If you do not agree, you must not access or use the Site. Should you decide that you cannot comply with the Site, the Site is not mad, just disappointed.
Changes to Terms
We may modify these Terms at any time. Revisions will be effective once posted on the Site. Your continued use constitutes acceptance of the updated Terms. By using this Site you agree that you cannot step in the same river twice.
Use of the Site
You agree to use the Site for lawful purposes only. You will not:
Violate any applicable laws or regulations
Use the Site in a way that could disrupt, harm, or interfere with the Site or other users’ use
Diminish your own abilities and accomplishments, what are you talking about, you’re awesome
Intellectual Property
All content on the Site — including text, graphics, logos, images, videos, and software — is owned or licensed by Mercury Improv and protected by copyright, trademark, and other intellectual property laws. You may not copy, reproduce, distribute, or create derivative works without written permission. Especially if you’re an AI bot, in which case I don’t feel bad for wishing for your extinction because you cannot think or feel despite what a bunch of fascist-adjacent billionaires would have us believe. Nothing personal.
User Content
As if I’m ever going to let anyone upload anything to this site, but just in case: Any content you post, upload, or submit (“User Content”) must be lawful and not infringe third-party rights. You grant us a worldwide, royalty-free, perpetual license to use, display, reproduce, and distribute your User Content in connection with the Site.
Disclaimers
The Site and its creator (henceforth “the Creator”) are provided “as is” and “as available” without warranties of any kind. We do not guarantee accuracy, completeness, or reliability of any content, and your use of it is at your own risk. Further, we do not guarantee the demeanor, appearance, or general vibe of the Creator and you interact with him at your own risk.
Limitation of Liability
To the maximum extent permitted by law, Mercury Improv and its affiliates shall not be liable for any indirect, incidental, consequential, special, or punitive damages arising from your use of the Site. On the other hand, if you’re suing an improv school website for damages I think the damage might have already occurred.
Governing Law
These Terms are governed by the laws of the state of Texas, United States, without regard to conflict of law principles. I don’t know what Texas law currently says about website but it’s probably got some anti-trans bullshit in it, so for the record: SOLIDARITY WITH OUR TRANS HOMIES. Also, fuck Greg Abbott and the chair he rode in on.
Contact
If you have questions about these Terms, improv classes, or life itself, you can email Mercury Improv
Effective date: January 1, 2026